5 Practical Tips for Creating a Gender-Neutral Playroom
When my son was four years old, I picked him up from daycare summer camp and I noticed he and another boy were playing dress up. They both had dresses on and were carrying purses. I giggled to myself at the sight. His shirt was bunched up underneath the elastic and he was doing his best to imitate, I’m assuming, how I carry a purse.
The teacher said to me, “Boy does he like playing dress up!” “Oh yeah?” “Yup, he’s over there practically every day. That dress he has on today is his favorite.”
Later that day, I told my husband what the teacher said and we both laughed. A few days later, I mentioned it to my mom and she said “I hope that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a cross-dresser when he’s older!”
I was disappointed by her reaction. Never once did it cross my mind as weird or concerning that he wanted to play dress up and put on a dress. My husband and I thought it was cute, imaginative and endearing.
My mother’s reaction and my reflection on this situation got me thinking about gendered toys and my parenting philosophy around it.
I did my fair share of research on the impacts of perpetuating gender stereotypes through play. I found that gender stereotyping can limit a child’s development and perpetuate harmful societal norms. Additionally, there are advantages to introducing boys to toys typically considered feminine, and girls to toys traditionally categorized as masculine.
By engaging with toys from both gender categories, children develop a more well-rounded set of attributes and skills. For instance, masculine toys encourage qualities like building, spatial skills, scientific exploration, math and technology, which as parents, we value for both boys and girls. On the other side of things, embracing feminine toys can instill traits such as nurturing, caring for infants, and proficiency in cooking and household chores, which are also beneficial for both sons and daughters.
As a mother, I know I play a crucial role in shaping my kids’ playtime by choosing the toys, games and activities that are made available to them. I realize it is very important for me to promote gender-neutral play for my children, exposing them to toys marketed toward boys and those marketed toward girls. As well as exposing them to lots of gender-neutral toys, like puzzles, blocks, musical instruments and art supplies, to name a few.
If you’re intrigued by the idea of embracing gender-neutral play, but wondering where to start, hopefully this will help.
Here are my 5 favorite tips to help remove gender stereotypes from a child’s playroom.
1. Choose diverse toys and games. Encourage your children to play with toys traditionally associated with the opposite gender, promoting open-mindedness and creativity.
I do my best to have my son and daughter play with both “girl” toys and “boy” toys. And I don’t refer to them as such!
When I’m playing with my kids, I alternate between playing with my daughter’s toys and my son’s toys. First, we take care of my daughter’s babies, bathe them, dress them, take them for a walk, and then put them down for a nap. Next, we play with my son’s Hot Wheels Mario Kart Rainbow Road track, where we pick our favorite characters to go head to head in the ultimate battle. Then we play kitchen, then Paw Patrol… you get the idea.
This is easier for me now because I have a boy and a girl, so my children get the benefit of having girls and boys toys available to them. The gifts they receive from relatives and friends help with this too. My son tends to get cars, sports equipment, legos and superheroes. And my daughter receives dolls, princesses, purses, jewelry and makeup playsets.
But before my daughter was born, my son had his heart set on a Little Mermaid Barbie bath toy and I didn’t hesitate to buy it for him. And let me tell you, he makes sure his sister knows Ariel is his during bath time.
2. Choose gender-neutral toys and activities. Opt for toys and activities that support the development of a wide range of social and cognitive skills, including literacy, numeracy, spatial awareness, creativity and problem-solving.
One of my favorite things to do with the kids is arts and crafts. I have a bunch of colored popsicle sticks, fluffy poms poms, googly eyes and stickers I got from the dollar store. Markers or crayons and blank sheets of paper are a crowd pleaser, providing the opportunity for free flowing creativity outside of gender specific coloring books.
We also love playdoh and kinetic sand. And this past Christmas Santa brought some National Geographic science kits: build your own volcano and grow your own crystal garden! Anything where they can experiment and use their hands is a win in my book.
3. Play outside! Prioritize outdoor play and physical activities that promote healthy development and positive social interactions.
In outdoor environments, children have the freedom to express themselves authentically without the limitations of gender stereotypes. There are countless opportunities for exploration, discovery, imaginative play and fun.
We have all four seasons where I live, and they’re not all created equal. The extreme hot and cold we experience can sometimes make it difficult to get outside. But thankfully we have enough days in between the extreme temperatures to allow us to make outside play a priority.
Whenever we’re all just a little cranky, or there is absolutely nothing that will make my youngest stop whining, I know it’s time to get outside.
My favorite thing about outside play is how easy it is. At times, the kiddos are happy just running around in circles as long as they’re breathing in fresh air. Add a little sidewalk chalk and bubbles, maybe a sandbox or a kickball, and we’re off to the races. Or just go for a walk and take in all nature has to offer.
4. Walk the walk. Set an example by challenging gender stereotypes through role-play during playtime and by promoting equitable division of household tasks.
In our house, we embrace a division of labor that reflects capabilities rather than gender, with my husband and I both pitching in, regardless of traditional expectations. My husband does all of the cooking. We both do grocery shopping and laundry. I take care of the finances. We both clean the house. He maintains our gardens in the spring and summer. I pack backpacks and make lunches. We both participate in baths and bedtime.
We do our best to demonstrate the value of partnership for our children. By modeling these behaviors, we hope to instill values of equality, inclusivity and authenticity in our family.
5. Let your kids take the lead! Take cues from your children on what they want to play and how they want to play it.
Empower your children by allowing them to take the lead in playtime activities. By following their signals and preferences, you can create a play environment that aligns with their interests and imagination.
My son asked for a dollhouse for Christmas this past year. It was all he talked about for months. He saw one when we visited his friend’s house (who is a girl) and decided he had to have one too. So Santa brought him a dollhouse. I didn’t hesitate or think twice about that decision. And I’m glad he got what he wanted.
Remember, play is not only essential for learning but also for building a strong bond between parent and child. Embrace every moment of playtime with your little one, and together, let's break down gender stereotypes one toy at a time.